I, Stashhaus, being of sound mind (a statement which does not bear close examination) do hereby record my Knitter's Will and Testament.
With the knowledge that DH, my husband, hasn't the least understanding, appreciation for, or knowledge of my extensive fiber collections, said collection being suitably deposited in sundry places for safekeeping, and
With the knowledge that DH and most of my family or heirs will dispose of aforementioned collection without thought or due consideration as to the value of the collection (a thought which causes severe heart palpitations),
I, therefore, do will this collections and all other collections related to it, to my dear friends and fellow fiber preservationists Austine, Frank, Jayne, Lynn, Martha, Maureen, Sue, Susan, and Veronica.
It is my wish that each of them, upon hearing of my death and obtaining clear proof that I did not manage to take it with me (although goodness know I tried), would come to my house post haste, and search out my collection. I entreat them to search all usual places, including but not limited to: kitchen cupboards, closets, attic, basement, any storage bins, the oven, my car, and any other places where fiber is similarly stored at their own abode.
Further, it is my wish that they should rescue said collection and stack it in my knitting room, along with books, magazines, loose patterns, all works in progress and all knitting accoutrements. Upon completion of the rescue they shall send invitations to all my friends not yet departed and hold a wake in the knitting room, complete with refreshments, and during said wake they shall say lovely and kind things about me until they run out. Then they shall divide amongst themselves, by lot, my wonderful stash.
I shall be hovering (not to be confused with "hoovering") over that very spot until this is done.
A., F., J., L., M., M., S., S., and V. shall then quit this spot and close the door, leaving trivialities to those who do not understand.
This is my wish on the matter. **
*Adapted from the Knitter's Last Will and Testament by Elinor Peace Baily.
**This is not a legal document.
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3 comments:
You got it, sweetie. I am honored. I will be sure to look inside the cushion covers, behind the books in the bookcases, in the dishwasher,in the shower stall in the guest bathroom and in the sleeves of all the out-of-season coats.
I'm so touched, I damn near cried. Martha and I will drive up together, Stashhaus. We'll even do a Culver's run in your honor.
...nearly peed my pants laughing when I read this...(catching up after a bout of self pity and hibernation as a result of it...um, so thanks for the laugh!) Susan, count me in on that Culver's run!!!
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