Smallville 911

First 911 call. Some months ago.

Officer: 911.

Me. Hi, this is [Stashhaus]. I'm westbound on highway xx, just west of address #####. There's cattle outside of a fence.

Officer: OK, we'll send an officer out.

Second 911 call. A couple of months ago.

Officer: 911.

Me: Hi, this is [Stashhaus]. I'm westbound on highway XX. Just west of address #####, there's cattle outside the fence on the north side of the road.

Officer: Ok, we'll send someone out. Hey, are you on your way here for court?

Me: Yes, and I"m running late because I had to turn around to get the nearest address to let you know where the cattle are. I'm coming for the mental commitment case. Are you guys the ones transporting Mr. Client from the mental institution to court?

Officer: Yeah, in fact, he just arrived.

Me: Can you let the court know I'm running 10 minutes behind schedule?

Officer: Don't worry. Mr. Client didn't have breakfast and he's hungry. We'll feed Mr. Client some lunch, then he'll be ready for court about the time you get here.

Me: Thanks.


Third 911 call. Yesterday.

Officer: 911.

Me: Hi, this is [Stashhaus]. I'm heading east on highway XX. Just east of address #####, there's cattle out between the fence and the highway on the south side of the road.

Officer: Are you on your way to work?

Me: Yeah.

Officer: Our courthouse is closed for Veteran's Day. Is the XX county courthouse open?

Me: Yes, it is. I've got a hearing this morning.

Officer: Why aren't they closed for Veteran's Day, too?

Me: I don't know.